Bonding? (Xena)

[Tengtangchin]

A lot happened without the pink-haired girl's participation. School activities, events, birthdays and the like, but she wasn't even emotionally affected of what she missed. She was walking around the shrines, marvelling at them, thinking how those people with that religion pray, her mind wandering to another world filled with pleasant surprises. The girl clasped her hands together, staring at space, drifting off to wonders and daydreams, thoughts undisturbed by the outer world...

But the past always catches up, and in a flash the pink-haired student remembered the boy she killed with her alice.

She looked down on her feet, closing her eyes, trying not to let tears fall. The memory was vivid as if it was yesterday, while in truth it was already four years ago. Four long years. When her conscience didn't bother her at all, but now as she matured, the pang of guilt makes her heart ache, how she's been stupid to use her alice while in rage.

She was a criminal; no doubt about that. But being a student in the academy cleaned her. She had to bite her lip to keep herself from sobbing. Here she was, in the one place where she belonged, and what do people in the outside world know of her case? She only went there to be pardoned. Selfish bitch.

It was a sad thought. But a person in loneliness cannot help to think such hurtful topics.

The pink-haired girl crumpled to the grassy ground landing on her knees, choking back her sobs as tears finally crystallized from her eyes, her hand covering her mouth while the other held her heart, squeezing her chest. As the sickening chant of her conscience echoed through her ears, she emitted a soft sob.

[Xena]

The afternoon was full of life. From the bustling crowds in town, to the line in the cafeteria, and to the playing students in the gymnasium and the field, the day was lively. Swarms of faces, echoes of apologies, new faces, familiar faces, and voices, sounding as one in the middle of a busy crowd, greeted me as I tried to nonchalantly stroll around for a day of laggard chores. I made my way back to the dormitories and changed, from the academy uniform to something more casual; a sleeveless white hoodie, denim mini-shorts, and sneakers. Not exactly my ideal outfit, but it was good enough.

Besides, the whole day pretty much made me sick.

Who’d get used to talking all the time? Fine, I can, but it’ll be a long process. I pulled out a white tote bag with my personal belongings inside, bringing it along with me as I made my way out my room. Before I took a step outside the said area, I shot a backward glance at the guitar on my bed. Kurosagi’s guitar; mine now. I haven’t actually got to use it, spare a few strums and random chords. I thought of bringing it with me, but decided against it. I left my room locked, the key in my bag.

I sauntered off to the Multi-faith temple, figuring I’d get peace and quiet there since it’s a place for praying. I wanted to send messages for a while, play games, take a nap. When I reached my destination, I saw the familiar sight of intense, pink hair. It belonged to a girl, one whose back was faced in my direction, and on the ground. She didn’t seem to mind me, so I wouldn’t mind her either. I looked at an altar for Jesus Christ, and figured since I’m here, I might as well pay my respects, even though my mother doesn’t fully believe in praising statues in the place of our Lord.

I straightened myself up and sang, “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallow be thy name; thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Ooooh~ and lead us not into temptation but deliver us, deliver us from evil. Ooooh~.”

That was enough. I wouldn’t like to let the Lord hear me say the same thing over and over again. I was about to turn back away from the altar when I heard a sob. I shot a look at the familiar girl on the ground, uncertain curious hesitant if she was the one who made it. I let my gaze on her still, before sighing softly. I walked to her casually, kneeling beside her, trying to see her face while I towered over her figure. I leaned forward to see below her downcast head, seeing her eyes full of tears of sadness.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked concerned at what she’s being bugged with. “…Tengtangchin?” I added, recognizing the face I saw once before.

[Tengtangchin]

The girl heard a song of praise. She was tempted to sing along, but she was uncertain if she would cause another one of her alice mishaps. She couldn’t help but bawl even louder, closing her eyes due to the grip of emotions upon her trembling body. When she heard a voice, Taiwo opened her leaking eyes to see an unfamiliar brown-haired girl with bloody-red eyes. The girl seemed to know her, but she herself didn’t recognize the former. Who is she? She thought. And how does she know my name? But who cared, she wanted someone to listen.

With another helpless sob she threw herself at the girl, hugging her waist. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It wasn’t my fault!” She wailed, her tears drenching the other girl’s white shirt as she continued her senseless chant. “I didn’t mean to, I didn’t know!” Taiwo continued, her pink hair waving down her back as she shook her head in denial. She looked up at the brown-haired girl and cried softly, “I didn’t mean to..! Why won’t this—” Taiwo clenched her left chest, a hand fleeing from the brown-haired female’s waist, “—why won’t it go away?”

She didn’t know why she was saying this to an absolute stranger. She felt hopeless; bleeding inside, like no one could help her redeem herself from such shame of killing someone with a power that should be used for good.

She kept on sobbing, her hand finding its way back to the brown-haired stranger’s waist.

[Xena]

I held on contact with her stare of what I took to be disbelief. “Uh…” Before I could get a real word out, she lunged at my midsection wailing, while her arms embraced me tightly. “H-hey,” I interjected, startled. “What the fu—” My curse was cut off by more of her wailing apologies, her excuses for something I’m oblivious to. I looked down on her cowering figure clinging to my waist for dear life. I gawked at her, absolutely clueless on what she was speaking of. I shut my mouth in a flat line.

It’s either I really screwed up on singing Our Father that she heard other things in the song, or Tengtangchin was really a totally messed up psychotic chick that just happened to hear about the school for special powers. Then I backpedaled; I might be getting suffocated by a psycho! Not good, not good, I whined in my head, trying to remain composed to look for much more rational reasons.

I held my breath and listened to what the pink-haired girl had to say.

She didn’t really make any sense more than the apologies. More reason to panic. Control yourself, Xena, control yourself. I just might run off to find Mira or Dante or even Hiei, with her dragged behind me, screaming like hell and looking like a psychotic menace myself. I looked at her, forming my face in what I hoped to be sympathetic rather than looking at her in horror mock horror. She kept on sobbing and crying afterwards, soaking my clothes with her tears, something I found annoying *saddening* disgusting *saddening*…

I raised her face to see mine and smiled brightly, trying to ease her depression over God knows what. “Stop crying now,” I said gently, in a motherly voice. “And tell me what happened, from the start.”

[Tengtangchin]

In between snivels, the pink-haired couldn’t help but think what this foreigner would think of her, minding only first impressions because she didn’t know that she already encountered her visitor. She looked at the girl again, seeing a compassionate expression on her face, her mind easily deceived by outward appearances despite her sociable nature. The girl couldn’t place whether Bronwyn pitied her or was only mocking her in her obviously defenseless state. She realized what she called the stranger; Bronwyn. Maybe it came from the stranger’s beautiful brown mane, or a name simply brought up by her mind, but Taiwo decided on calling her that for the time being.

She sniffed and lowered her head – or tried to. Bronwyn raised the pink-haired girl’s head, giving Taiwo the sight of the older female’s smile. The younger girl sniffed again, her pretty face shattered by tears, her mouth curved downwards. She listened as Bronwyn spoke, understood the words, and heard the somewhat gentle tone in her voice.

She began to crack up again. “I-… I d-didn’t mean to…” Taiwo repeated in a soft whisper. She rubbed her weeping eyes gently. “I didn’t mean to k-kill…” She tried to cover her eyes, to ease their entourage of crystallizing tears, but couldn’t. Her breaths came out in short gasps, as did her words when she found a lump in her throat and an intense ache in her chest.

She took a deep breath and tried to speak normally. “When I was still a k-kid,” she sniffed, “I got a bit carried away with my alice. But how was I supposed to know what I could do, right?” Taiwo rubbed her eyes slowly. “Then, there was this guy who just began y-yelling at me a-and…” She gulped as she tried hard not to remember what she meant when she sang that time. “I used my alice on him and r-ran aw-away.” She sniffled before continuing. “And th-they just saw h-him d-d-…d-dea…” Taiwo couldn’t utter the word out loud, fearing if she did, the weight of her guilt would lean even more upon her fragile shoulders, making her burden harder to carry.

She was silent for a moment, spare a few sniffs and gasps.

After taking a deep breath and hearing the dull crack of her bones because of the sudden expanded inhalation, she murmured, “And his family would think that I j-just ran away from the case to the academy... The curious part was, my own parents didn’t even think that the death of that boy was horrible in my part… They just sent me off here…”

Taiwo cleared her bright eyes and asked boldly, “Tell me...should I leave the academy to atone for my sin…?” It might not seem like such a big deal to someone else, but for the pink-haired girl, it was everything. Leaving the one place she belonged as penance for killing the boy, but now, as she spoke, it felt to her that it wasn’t even enough. She glared defiantly at Bronwyn, unblinking, as she waited for her reaction.

[Xena]

Uh-oh.

Emotional, much?

I urgently yet gently hushed her when I saw that her face was breaking for more tears to come out. “I-… I d-didn’t mean to,” Tengtangchin softly uttered, rubbing her eyes. Okay, that's a start. Even though I still didn't have a clue of what she's saying. “I didn’t mean to k-kill…” My smile twitched as I lowered my head, covering my crimson eyes with my bangs. My heart thumped rapidly in my chest, already afraid of the assumptions I made earlier, of the little pink-haired girl being a psychotic chick.

It was an unnerving thought, but I held on to her.

It wasn't a question of vice-presidential duties, nor vote campaigning for the next election. It felt like I was supposed to do this; that I should embrace her tightly in my arms. Like some damn cliché shoujo-manga story. The certainness of my thoughts baffle me. I didn't even know what the hell was going on, but heck, ride with the waves.

I even remember motivotional phrases from softball. Heck, I don't even play softball, but whatever. Kid needs me, you know?

I looked upon her face, unable to stop her tears from flowing, at loss for words of comfort. I didn't have anything to say, but I do need to listen. I heard her raspy breathing, and all the words I wanted to hear to know about her situation. It was saddening to hear her voice, but I didn't have any choice but to stop her talking, which would be, other than rude, somewhat irritating.

Through sniffs, she narrated her story. “When I was still a k-kid, I got a bit carried away with my alice. But how was I supposed to know what I could do, right?” I nodded my head in agreement. True, true. I didn't even know that I could cause a person a disease, but that's another story.

“Then, there was this guy who just began y-yelling at me a-and…” I heard her gulp before continuing, “I used my alice on him and r-ran aw-away. And th-they just saw h-him d-d-…d-dea…” Truth be told, I was amused at how she couldn't even say the word 'dead'. Not that it matters--everyone dies. I guess she couldn't take the fact that she just killed someone...

Ohmigod.

What am I, the Terminator? I feel like a cruel and merciless person right about now. Of course she'd be emotionally affected. She was a girl, I'm a girl, she killed somebody, I killed somebody, yet I never let the thought get to me.

The silence both engulfed us, me mulling over this, while her, I don't know.

I should go to Church. And take the sacrament of reconciliation. And go to mass, for crying out loud.

She talked more, yadda-yadda, me not really paying attention, but hearing. I bet her parents were asses. Ha! Take that, uncaring couple. “Tell me...should I leave the academy to atone for my sin…?”

If I was sipping tea, I'd spurt it out.

What the hell was she saying? "No. You shouldn't," I answered a bit angrily. "Just because you think you did something unforgivable doesn't mean it is." A rant's coming on with a melancholic smile. "I...I killed someone too. And I'm not affected by it since...well....since she told me to kill her. Her time was up." I sighed. "If you wouldn't have killed that boy, he would still die. No difference. And even if he did die, but not in your hands, I bet you'll still be thinking of this stuff."

I nudged her. "So cheer up, m'kay?"

[Tengtangchin]

"No. You shouldn't," Bronwyn answered. "Just because you think you did something unforgivable doesn't mean it is. I...I killed someone too. And I'm not affected by it since...well....since she told me to kill her. Her time was up. If you wouldn't have killed that boy, he would still die. No difference. And even if he did die, but not in your hands, I bet you'll still be thinking of this stuff."

Was it really possible? That someone like her could withstand the guilt, the pain...the sadness? That this foreigner was right? Taiwo's eyes ceased its crying, leaving the pink-haired girl with a curious expression on her face. She heard this voice before. She just couldn't place a name...

She felt herself being nudged once. "So cheer up, m'kay?" Bronwyn's voice accompanied the action. Taiwo took one glance of uncertainty at the foreigner's blood-red hues, before smiling brightly and exclaiming, "Sure!"

Ah, what a change of heart, it was almost creepy.

Taiwo wiped the tears that dried on her cheeks. "If you don't mind me asking," she started, her hands retreating to her chest to fiddle with her fingers, "Who's the one that you...er.." Taiwo was uncertain if she should continue, and how she would continue. After a few seconds, she decided on a friendly word.

"...Helped?"

[Xena]

Well, she certainly has some cheer-up energy.

In a flash, she was all smiles, almost making it impossible for the weeping girl earlier to have this other personality. I was still a bit confused on what happened earlier, but heck, who cares now? Moment passed, now it was only another memory to add in the pile.

I just remembered something. Most people prefer to sleep in the nude.

No idea where the hell it came from. Probably ripped off some movie. Something's gotta go, or something blah. Either way, it didn't matter, cause it isn't what this story's about. Quit thinking about the nude-sleep stuff. Bad and gross.

Well, at least Tengtangchin removed her hands from my waist. I was thinking of the odds of her suffocating me than letting go. I guess she wasn't a psychotic chick, after all. Hurrah! I feel safe already. I smiled brightly to myself. We were both smiles.

Da da duuunnn.

I'm funny, aren't I? I find myself funny, har har har, so funny I forgot to laugh. Ech, trying to make the post longer. Damn my futile attempts at this. I'd kill me if I could, but if I did, I won't be able to continue this. Gosh, so out of character. Step back to the in-character-ness!

If you don't mind me asking," I heard the chickadee say, "who's the one that you...er.." She was thinking for a few seconds. I looked blank. Err, what? I thought irritatedly. "...Helped?" Tengtangchin continued. I still looked back at her blankly before what she said registered in my brain.

"Ahh," I let out. I looked back at her, a bit unable to smile. "My mum."

That hurts. You're asked by someone who you 'killed', and you say your mum. I find it...oddly funny.

Gahh, Terminator mode.

[Tengtangchin]

Taiwo held her stare as Bronwyn looked at her impassively. It was as if she snapped her fingers to drag the older girl out of her stupor, before she replied, "My mum." The younger girl continued to stare back uncomprehensively, not able to understand, her brain unable to process the words that came. Thinking she misheard, she cleared her throat and held her forehead with one hand.

"Erm, sorry, what?"

She scratched her head, before moving the hand to her ear, pulling on its lobe gently. "I must've misheard you," she continued, still pulling on her ear, her eye closing with her action. "I thought you said your mom. Sorry about that." She ceased pulling on her ear, stretching the arm she used in the air.

"Could you say that again?"

She smiled, ready to hear what Bronwyn was about to say, or rather, repeat. I must've took a small lunch today, she thought grimly to herself. I'm hearing things now.

[Xena]

She's not reacting, which is a bit odd, since most people would say 'I'm sorry' by reflex. She cleared her throat and raised her hand to her forehead, before saying, "Erm, sorry, what?" I looked back at her, thinking the same thing. She was either a) adding insult to injury, b) being sarcastic, or c) unable to comprehend since I uttered a ghastly fact. I couldn't believe it would be the first two, so perhaps I was correct with my third assumption.

I watched her commit common actions of doubt because of words; scratching her head, imitating the act of cleaning her ear.

It was so much like a mime show, except she wasn't a mime.

"I must've misheard you," Tengtangchin said. "I thought you said your mom. Sorry about that." Ah, so she thinks I'm insulted in hearing that she thought I said what I uttered earlier? I'm even more insulted she repeated it, just to clarify she wasn't hearing things. Hearing the same thing twice wasn't exactly reassuring, but hell, whatever. She shot her arm in the air, stretching her shoulder.

"Could you say that again?" She requested once more with a smile on her face. "Ohkay, sure." I shrugged at the pointlessness of my repeating it, since she already heard me correctly the first time. "I said, the person I killed with my alice, whose time was up and asked me to kill her, is-" I let a dramatic beat pass before continuing.

"My mum. Mother. My kaasan or however in Japanese."

[Tengtangchin]

"Ohkay, sure." Bronwyn shrugged. Taiwo's smile grew to a wider grin as the other one complied to her request. The pink-haired girl braced herself for who. "I said, the person I killed with my alice, whose time was up and asked me to kill her, is-" Bronwyn let a beat pass. Taiwo felt hyped up since it was like a cliffhanger in a story. When Bronwyn opened her mouth to complete her sentence, Taiwo opened hers as well. "My mum. Mother. My kaasan or however in Japanese."

Taiwo's face dropped, her eyes brimming with tears again. "R-really?" She sniffled. "I am so s-sorry..." She was getting dramatic again, but who wouldn't? Killing your own mother with a talent one should use for good was a big emotional wound. And she thought about how horrible she was for asking Bronwyn to repeat herself.

"Sorry..." Taiwo sighed, not letting the tears fall, rubbing them to oblivion. She should stop crying. Bronwyn told her to cheer up, therefore she should.

"Um, what am-- I mean, I can't go on--"

She was tongue tied, feeling awkward on questioning Bronwyn. "I can't go on calling you--" She couldn't bring herself to say Bronwyn. The foreigner would've thought her as weird. for naming someone she barely knew.

[Xena]

I was getting tired of the crying act. So now the reflex kicks in. I so knew she was going to say that. She's probably blaming herself even more for letting me repeat myself. Now that's what she gets for acting like she didn't hear me. Ha! Take the regret now rather than later. "Um, what am-- I mean, I can't go on--"
she stammered continuously.

I tried hard not to giggle.

What was she trying to say now?

"I can't go on calling you--" I raised my eyebrow when she stopped herself. Don't tell me you've been calling me names in your head all the while I held you mockingly lovingly in my arms! Ah, stop heating up Xena, you'll grow old quickly. I replaced my doubtful expression with another friendly and encouraging smile.

"Can't go calling me what now?"

[Tengtangchin]

"Can't go calling me what now?"

Taiwo flinched, before whispering softly, enough for the older girl to hear, "Bronwyn."

OOC: Super short. >_<

[Xena]

ooc: Majorly blocked. Brain cannot function properly.

"Bronwyn."

I shrugged at her, wondering why she was reluctant in saying it immediately. "Well, that's a pretty good name," I commented. I looked at her again, grinning for real. "You don't remember me, do you?" I said as I realized it for a fact.

She entirely forgot my existence.

Then again, there's my hair. I see, I understand. "My name's Xena. Remember? With Cassentie?" I said, trying to help her recall and doing my introductions to her again.

[Tengtangchin]

"R-really? Xena?"

Taiwo faked a gasp. "But you've changed!" She gestured wildly at Xena's hair and eyes. She was puzzled why she didn't recognize the familiar facial structure sooner. Now, Xena would probably think of her as a psychotic chick.

She has no idea Xena thought of her like that already.

Taiwo continued to think of how foolish she'd looked like in front of the vice-president. She calmed herself down so that she could be decent enough to say, "I'm sorry for not recognizing you and blurting out earlier."

[Xena]

"R-really? Xena?"

She's either really unobservant or she just doesn't look at people's faces when she meets them. It's pretty obvious that she's surprised. I tried not to sigh out loud

at her somewhat pitiful behavior. Really, once an impostor gets his or her hands on one of Tengtangchin's friends, she wouldn't know the difference at all. Even if the impostor would be using wigs and contacts.

"But you've changed!" I mumbled, "Not that much," in response. If I don't know any better, I'd say she's faking everything or overreacting, with all her gestures and exclamations. An odd ball, she is.

She executed a deft attitude shift and apologized through the words, "I'm sorry for not recognizing you and blurting out earlier." I wasn't that hurt for not being recognized; in fact, it gave me a slight ego boost when I knew that no one could actually realize that the vice-president could change her appearance.

Meh. Not that much of a discovery.
Like I said before, we're about as observant as a muffin.

"It's okay." I shrugged impassively, not really caring now. "It's not like I expected you to do so, anyway," I added as an afterthought. I stood up from the ground, happy to be given liberty from the grass. I started to stretch my arms in the air. "So uh, you okay now?" I inquired casually as I continued on with my left arm. I was more interested in sleeping and listening to My Chem. rather than lending my ears for her troubles.

I'm not that nice.
I've been, once before.
When Takara was still alive.

But she isn't coming back any time soon, so you can burst your bubble of getting me to talk-talk-talk instead of catching up on well-earned sleep.