shinos application

[kiru]

name: shino kask
age:12
custom title:none
eye color: black
height: 5"
appearance:

Alice: blinding ,he can blind a person for a period of time if he touches the person with his bare hands (without gloves) or by looking at the person eye to eye (without sunglasses)
personality: he a shy boy and not much of a talker. he likes to be part of the crowd. he doesn't think highly of his abilities.
back-round: was brought up an orphan until he came to the academy at 5. he was often bullied for his glasses at his old care home but the was sent to the academy when he blinded a boy. it was later found out that his blindness was permanent. he was then thought of as a threat to the care home so the authorities were contacted and shino was taken away.


Approval Status (Mod 1): Not yet approved
Approval Status (Mod 2): Not yet approved
Approval Status (Mod 3): Not yet approved
Approval Status (Admin): Not yet Approved
Class Section: Not yet Approved
Combination Class Section: Not yet Approved
Dangerousness: Not yet Approved

[||D e c a y . . .]

--Ahem.
Okay, I haven't been doing this for a while, might as well go for it now.

Anyway, what I first want to point out is your double posting. Is it really necessary? In the information site, I'm sure it said: "Do not double post" or something along those lines, y'know.

And just to say next time, we PM the staff if we want to get our sheets checked out, yeah? I'll let you off this time, but it's costing you a reminder from me.

Second thing. We expect proper coding, punctuation, literation and et cetera. A lot more information is needed.

Your name needs to be put in Capital Letters where it needs one.

The custom title needs a proper coding to it.

A lot of information we've prepared in the forms are missingmeaning you left out bits of information.

Appearance can either be described in properly structured sentences or posting pictures or both. If you can't be bothered with the whole structured sentence in this section, we let you off and you can just post the picture. Although structured sentences are more preferable.

What to do and what not to do:
E.g: Describing Rei:

DO NOT WRITE:

She's short, asian, have black hair.

DO WRITE:

Rather short for her age, she's around 5 foot one inch. She has her hair down to breast-length and it's naturally black in color. Though she highlighted it blonde when she went on the holidays a few weeks ago for two months. Her eyes are rounded but squinted, black in color.

See which one describes more? "Short, asian, have black hair" does not describe anything. Pretend you're going to find this person called (insert name) and you're only given that type of description? Even in a million years you wouldn't find that person.

Alice: Considering that this is Alice academy, we expect you to write more about your alice you know =/. In other words: ELABORATE.

Personality: =/ Elaborate please. We can't have you writing one or two sentences, we expect more of a paragraph or two.

History/ Background: You know, background, in my perspective is the most important part of the whole character sheet. It is meant to describe the events that occured to your character from when he found out his alice or from when he was born, or even before he was born.

To sum it all up, it's either re-do or fix to great potential.