Thor Odinson [incomplete]

[thor]

Name: Donald Blake

Age: 13

Alias:Thor

Custom Title: God of Thunder

Nationality: American

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Blue

Height: 6 feet 6 inches

Weight: 640 lbs

Appearance:

Alice: Thunder and lightning manipulation

Personality: cares so so much about midgard (earth), in the times that he becomes angry he uses his mjolnir (magic hammer) and destroys what is wrong

Background: Donald Blake spent his childhood in New York City as a battered child. at age 5 he ran away and deciced to live alone and study as a scholar. He graduated at age 12 taking a course of nursing because of his high IQ. He worked as a nurse that one day he saw a weird looking hammer that seemed that it came from the vikings he picked it up went insane , he thinks that he is thor the god of thunder but he gains the manipulation of thunder and lightning

Family History: son of odin and gaea he is a battered by his father but loved by his mother. he is battered because his father wants him to be like him, a thief.

Extras: He weilds a magical hammer that is responsible for his alice which he picked up when he was walking down the street

Approval Status (Mod 1): Not yet approved
Approval Status (Mod 2): Not yet approved
Approval Status (Mod 3): Not yet approved
Approval Status (Admin): Not yet Approved
Class Section: Not yet Approved
Combination Class Section: Not yet Approved
Dangerousness: Not yet Approved

[Chris Tamer]

*NOTE:

I am deeply (as in gravely) disappointed with your sheet. Be rational. Let me point out your numerous mistakes:

• Age - 13.
  Correct, but check out the latter category:
  
• Height - 6'6
  Not possible. Make it in accordance with your Age. Too tall. Furthermore:
  
• Weight - 640 lbs
  Just wrong man, just irrational. A thirteen year old boy, with the height of 6'6 and the weight of 640 lbs?
  Me myself (Gain) is twelve years old, height of 5'4, and the weight of 110 lbs. Now tell me, which is more easier to believe: Me, or you?
  

But wait, there's more:

• Alice:
  Are you sure you read the rules thoroughly? We need to know what the alice does, its strengths and weaknesses (not possible to have no weakness) and effects on the user who is (how surprising) you/Donald Blake. Basic info, man. I don't need in-depth explanation of oxygen and friction being this and that through his alice. Just basic, man.
  
  

Background:

• Your character seems to be older than the age you presented. Fix.
  
  
• YOU have the Alice; not some battle axe giving him the power. It's you who has it, already from the beginning. Remove the insanity, insert rationality.
  
  
• Okay, where did Donald discover his alice? When? How?
  
  
• How did he know about Alices and Alice Academy? He should be enrolled with the age of THRITEEN, mind you.
  
  

You may be wondering why the hell I'm commenting on an 'unfinished' sheet. He pleaded me to check it, and I prevented him to make his sheet harder to modify with all the things he missed out or had mistakes with.

[Shugo Yuy™]

eiji said:

*NOTE:

I am deeply (as in gravely) disappointed with your sheet. Be rational. Let me point out your numerous mistakes:

• Age - 13.
  Correct, but check out the latter category:
  
• Height - 6'6
  Not possible. Make it in accordance with your Age. Too tall. Furthermore:
  
• Weight - 640 lbs
  Just wrong man, just irrational. A thirteen year old boy, with the height of 6'6 and the weight of 640 lbs?
  Me myself (Gain) is twelve years old, height of 5'4, and the weight of 110 lbs. Now tell me, which is more easier to believe: Me, or you?
  

But wait, there's more:

• Alice:
  Are you sure you read the rules thoroughly? We need to know what the alice does, its strengths and weaknesses (not possible to have no weakness) and effects on the user who is (how surprising) you/Donald Blake. Basic info, man. I don't need in-depth explanation of oxygen and friction being this and that through his alice. Just basic, man.
  
  

Background:

• Your character seems to be older than the age you presented. Fix.
  
  
• YOU have the Alice; not some battle axe giving him the power. It's you who has it, already from the beginning. Remove the insanity, insert rationality.
  
  
• Okay, where did Donald discover his alice? When? How?
  
  
• How did he know about Alices and Alice Academy? He should be enrolled with the age of THRITEEN, mind you.
  
  

You may be wondering why the hell I'm commenting on an 'unfinished' sheet. He pleaded me to check it, and I prevented him to make his sheet harder to modify with all the things he missed out or had mistakes with.

The height's questionable but still plausible. I have a friend 14 who's around 6'3'' and still growing.

Everything else is correct.