Post by Vilhelm Abendroth on Jul 20, 2006 13:50:37 GMT 7
While I can't approve your Bio, I can give you some helpful pointers to get you on track! ^^
--Personality-- You've got the right idea, but you'll need to expand it a little more. How do you act when you're shy? Are you clumsy or do you just stick to yourself? Are you kind to everyone? Or are you only kind to the people you know?
--Apperance-- This is a seperate category so you'll have to seperate it from Clothing. This section includes a description of what you look like. While it's okay to include a picture, it helps if the picture is at least the same age as you're supposed to be.
--Clothing-- Again, a picture is fine to show us what you wear outside of the school's uniform, but the picture you provided like it's much too big for you. All you need is to say what you wear when not in unifrom. For example: jeans and a t-shirt, a plain white dress, etc.
--Alice-- Telekinesis is a perfectly acceptable alice, but you need to say how strong it is. Are you able to pick up things the same weight as a regular adult man? Or a car? Just keep in mind that you're still young and you're not as in control of your powers. So a good rule of thumb would be: The stronger the alice, the more of a drawback there is.
Everything else would pass inspection, I think, but we'll leave the final decision to Kurogane. ^^ PM him when you've fixed everything up! Good luck!
--Personality-- You've got the right idea, but you'll need to expand it a little more. How do you act when you're shy? Are you clumsy or do you just stick to yourself? Are you kind to everyone? Or are you only kind to the people you know?
--Apperance-- This is a seperate category so you'll have to seperate it from Clothing. This section includes a description of what you look like. While it's okay to include a picture, it helps if the picture is at least the same age as you're supposed to be.
--Clothing-- Again, a picture is fine to show us what you wear outside of the school's uniform, but the picture you provided like it's much too big for you. All you need is to say what you wear when not in unifrom. For example: jeans and a t-shirt, a plain white dress, etc.
--Alice-- Telekinesis is a perfectly acceptable alice, but you need to say how strong it is. Are you able to pick up things the same weight as a regular adult man? Or a car? Just keep in mind that you're still young and you're not as in control of your powers. So a good rule of thumb would be: The stronger the alice, the more of a drawback there is.
Everything else would pass inspection, I think, but we'll leave the final decision to Kurogane. ^^ PM him when you've fixed everything up! Good luck!
