A Little Contemplating (Luna)

[Haruhi Otonashi]

Everything that has happened for the past few days seemed pretty normal for Haruhi. The Alice ban didn’t bother her as much as she thought it would; after all, her Alice was an intermittent one. She had no control over it whatsoever, which made her think, what if she didn’t have this Alice in the first place?

The androgynous young lady continued to wander the hallways of the Elementary Building, engrossed more in her thoughts than in the book that she held up to her face. Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist would have been best read in its native Portuguese (which the girl has yet to learn) and with full attention.

She continued walking -- and thinking -- anyway. If she didn’t have her Alice, then she wouldn’t be this far away from her father. She could still have the monstrous stew he always made for her, and at the thought of it, Haruhi could only gag. It was very unpleasant alright, but he always made it with love. She smiled.

However, if she wasn’t an Aliced girl then she wouldn’t have gotten this scholarship in the first place. She could have entered any school with her rather impressive grades and all, but any other academic institution wouldn’t do. In that case her dad would’ve visited her everyday at that school, which would exhaust whatever money he has. Haruhi didn’t want that. If she was going to some school which was going to pay for her education, then she should go where even her father would find it futile to mindlessly spend his resources at. Alice Academy was a good choice.

Haruhi would’ve continued her inner mind ramblings as well as her charade of reading Coelho’s work, but somebody was unfortunate enough to collide to her. She fell down on the cold, tiled marbles of the floor, but within seconds she recovered and stood up; dusting off her checkered trousers (she was wearing the boys’ uniform). Fixing her glasses onto her nose, she looked at the person she had bumped into and bowed apologetically.

“I’m very sorry! Are you okay?” she instantly inquired, careful in putting a hand over the other person’s shoulder.

[Luna Katanashi]

The more her melancholic life is going on, the more she wanted to end her life prematurely. Since she was in the Elementary School Building, she wore the assigned uniform for the Elementary Students. Having a deceased mother and a best friend, an Alice Ban, she was rejected by a boy. So, now, what's next in line?

Students were presenting before her. They only passed by her and it was then, imperative for her to be spared at this time of day. If someone might utter a speech that was intended to insult that is all about the gloominess of her visage, she doesn't even cringe one bit. All she needs to do is to abandon them and resume her business.

How unfortunate of her.

She collided with an individual again. Why, she can't even reckon on how many times she bumped with someone abruptly these days. The soreness in her heart magnified a little when her eyes met the stranger she just collided with.

She wanted peace and quiet. Somehow, her wish was declined.

Something told her that she shouldn't bear the indignity the day has given and she was at least guaranteed company. An inquiry came. She smiled as she stood up traditionally and was dusting her clothing.

"I'm fine."

[Haruhi Otonashi]

[Um, actually, Haruhi looks more like a guy, so normally a person would think she’s a boy. >_> ]

“Right,” she answered right away, pulling her hand back before fixing her glasses once again. Haruhi furrowed her brows. There was something not quite right in this picture. This girl definitely wasn’t fine because if she was, she wouldn’t have crashed to Haruhi like that. Okay, so maybe Haruhi was at fault in this, but the other girl could’ve easily avoided her, couldn’t she?

She’s lying, she even assured herself.

She closed the small paperback book and slipped it into her pocket, resigning herself to speaking with this girl. Haruhi was most certainly not the nosy type, but sometimes she knows when to talk to other people, regardless of whether they were strangers or not. This was one of those times.

“I know this isn’t any of my business but,” Haruhi started in a soft (and rather boy-sounding) voice, “Would you mind telling me what’s wrong?”

Yes, it was very much cliché, but there was no way else to put it. There could be many reasons as to why the other girl was feeling glum at the time -- such as the Alice ban -- but she just wanted to ask. Besides, it could be helpful to the girl as well. Releasing problems to other people can actually soothe a person’s mind. Haruhi doesn’t mind to be a ‘sponge’ for today.

There isn’t anything much to do anyway.

[Luna Katanashi]

OOC: Yeah, I know. But, she doesn't have time to judge an appearance now because, you know, having problems...

This must be an ordeal for her.

It's as if everyone in this Alice Academy had made a query at her -- well, approximately. Why don't they just focalize on their own professions? Besides, it's not even their issue, correct? All the time, she keeps on fueling herself with much energy just so people wouldn't be so concerned about her.

"I'm just... tired."

She answered with her warm, artificial smile. Plastic. Fake. It's as if she has some kind of impediment in her; she barely admits her predicaments. Come on, it's even too untimely to say them all even to a stranger. This is just deplorable and she can't even say anything else that doesn't concern her problems.

She had a feeling that her tears will descend themselves to the ground, but she knows that she doesn't want to. Right now, she was intent on proving that nothing was bothering her.

[Haruhi Otonashi]

A cheerful smile etched on Haruhi’s dried lips despite of the rather unreal one her companion showed her. “I see. Well, should I accompany you to your room then? Or should we go somewhere relaxing?” She paused for a while.

“But you’re not just tired, are you? It’s written all over your face, you know,” she said with another smile. “We can do this little game all day, but let me tell you, I’m pretty persistent.”

Haruhi then burst out a soft, hearty laughter. It was unlikely for her to do such a thing… unless she’s done something really stupid. And as of the moment, she just did something really stupid. “How rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself!” She somewhat exclaimed, lightly tapping her head as a reflex.

“I’m Haruhi, by the way,” she bowed slightly to the girl as a sign of respect, and then straightened up. “It’s a pleasure meeting you, Miss.”

Now she let out a good-natured sigh. She wasn’t feeling at the top of her game today, but that wasn’t exactly a valid excuse not to cheer another person who’s feeling down. Haruhi still saw the rather melancholic expression of the other girl despite all of her efforts to make her laugh and all that. She didn’t feel any frustration; she was merely feeling unsatisfied of herself, but decided to continue ‘pestering’ the other girl with her enthusiasm anyway.

“You know, it’s really better to let stuff out of your system. That’s what I’ve learned in Health.”

[Luna Katanashi]

'I see. Well, should I accompany you to your room then? Or should we go somewhere relaxing?'

"No, I don't need that,"

Luna uttered patiently, still not bothering to share her anguishes and her plethora of emotions in her life to the boy--or was that person a girl? She doesn't even want to retire back to her dorm room just yet. In fact, she was just getting platitudinal in concealing her feelings. How long will she ever stand this?

'But you’re not just tired, are you? It’s written all over your face, you know. We can do this little game all day, but let me tell you, I’m pretty persistent.'

"Persistent.."

She repeated in a hushed tone. Although, she was not too latent in people's personalities. She can't even make such a fuss if that person is arrogant, actually. Plus, she can't just tell that she has an infatuation for a boy, that would be too embarrassing. She only paused for a length bit of time before she returned from her hypnosis.

'How rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself! I’m Haruhi, by the way. It’s a pleasure meeting you, Miss.'

"I'm Shanine Katanashi. Nice meeting you as well, Haruhi."

She responded in a gentle tone. Haruhi. That seems to be a Japanese name for a girl. So, maybe this person was a girl. Why can't Luna even realize that? In the next days, when she meets another person, she shouldn't jump to conclusions if it is was a boy or a girl just because of the image of their appearances.

'You know, it’s really better to let stuff out of your system. That’s what I’ve learned in Health.'

"Well, it's just my past that keeps on bothering me."

She forced out unintentionally. But hopefully, Haruhi won't ask any further questions about it.

OOC: It's pronounced as "Sha-neen". Not "Sha-nine".

[Haruhi Otonashi]

“Again, nice to meet you, Shanine-san. Wait, would it be okay if I just called you by your first name?” she asked with a smile. Needless to say, Haruhi is being too friendly today. Not that she isn’t a friendly person though, but come to think of it, she really doesn’t make friends easily. It’s not that she cares about such things, but a friend would be nice.

So would it be wrong to say that she just found one?

A short silence followed. “Past?” Haruhi echoed; her expression a mix of confusion and, surprisingly, empathy. She could clearly see the pained look on Shanine’s face. Haruhi debated within herself whether or not to further pester the other girl with ‘what’s wrong’ and all that. If she were to ask the other girl, maybe she could actually help her release her feelings and maybe even solve whatever it is Shanine is bothered with. On the other hand, she might just react negatively, and that Haruhi could actually add up to Shanine’s list of problems.

In frustration, Haruhi sighed and messed up the untidy brown tangle that was her hair. “Well, I realized I shouldn’t force you into saying stuff you’d feel uncomfortable about, but just maybe I could help,” she said, fixing her glasses onto her nose again. “So don’t hold back, okay?”

[LOL, Haruhi is actually a unisex name. Just sayin’ xD]

[Luna Katanashi]

OOC: Uhh.. rofl. Let's just disregard that. xD

"Certainly. You can just call be my first name. A lot are having difficulty in adding chan and san after my name,"

Another friend in sight. But the melancholy monster was still with her even with its claws beared. A dual of problems always accompany her anytime and anywhere. Not mere dual, but also duplicated to triple and quadruple and so on in each day. It's even so difficult to believe, but it's true. Her blond hair wafted in the remnants of the air with smelt of perfume.

'Well, I realized I shouldn’t force you into saying stuff you’d feel uncomfortable about, but just maybe I could help. So don’t hold back, okay?'

"Especially love?"

She pressed softly, doubting that her bothers will even be repaired. She wasn't even basking one bit. Haruhi was a friend. But, she doesn't know why she can't trust anyone. Anyone but her best friend that was deceased. She melded her hands together whilst she hasn't snuff some air for she was waiting for Haruhi's reply.

[Haruhi Otonashi]

Love?

For a moment, Haruhi blinked. She definitely didn’t expect that. However she isn’t that oblivious to think that what Shanine is talking about is simply filial or platonic. Not that it’s so unusual though -- as many people her age have the same dilemma -- but she just isn’t familiar with the subject. She’s really gotten into a big pinch this time, but she can’t just show the other girl her unfamiliarity with the topic. That won’t be helpful in any way. Right now she could just listen to Shanine, try to relate with her, and maybe, in a bizarre twist of fate, she could actually respond with a good enough advice… or something like that.

“Yeah, even that,” she answered, smiling at the girl. “So then, what is it exactly that’s bothering you?”

[Luna Katanashi]

The day was definitely persecuting her. She was thinking about the Academy first -- the Academy who had taken the appearance of a mansion; no, wait, more than a mansion. How she wished that she was just an ordinary student in a normal school, not an Alice bearer.

Still, she can foretell her capabilities to the ordinary people of being an Alice holder. Although, she knew that she doesn't have skills to boast. Well, she just wished that she doesn't have an Alice.

'Yeah, even that. So then, what is it exactly that’s bothering you?'

This is so going to be a traffic. Stuttering and tripping of words might suffice. That girl really is curious -- or maybe she is really having the desire to help. Will Luna admit? She was hoping that she wasn't just wasting time in confessing the things that were bothering her.

...

"I just confessed my feelings for the boy I like so much, but he rejected them. Though, it's really not that important, so I don't need to be helped."

She explained while knocking her head, as if the problem was just a piece of trash.

[Haruhi Otonashi]

So it’s rejection then. To what Haruhi has observed, females always have this strong feeling about rejection; that is, they never get over it quite easily. She was a stranger to that, as she has never been rejected by anyone nor has she rejected anyone. She wasn’t that attractive looking (due to her poor sense of style, among other things) to begin with. Come to think of it, the girl never really had crushes, therefore she had nobody to confess to.

If she were Shanine though, she’d tell herself to get over it. One boy’s sentiment isn’t enough to wallow for a whole day (or any period of time, even). There are many fishes in the sea.

“I see,” Haruhi responded rather nonchalantly. “But you know, it isn’t healthy to be sad over these kinds of things. There are a million better things to do than be sorry for yourself over what you have no control over… for example, this boy’s feelings.”

Haruhi paused, feeling that she was going quite rough on the girl. Maybe she already knew about these things. In that case, she needed the help of Coelho-sensei. The boyish girl was sure that she saw a quote fitted to say to her companion.

At that she pulled the small, yellowish book out of her pocket and flipped to the page where it had a little fold on the edge. Page 152, the footer indicated.

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.”

Another pause ensued. Smiling, Haruhi flipped to one page forward.

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.”

And then she looked up to Shanine, fixing her glasses onto her nose for the nth time. “If you strive to be better, then who knows? Maybe that guy will eventually notice you. Better yet, someone better than him will notice you,” she said cheerfully, playfully winking at Shanine. Ah, it was always nice to give other people advices.

[Luna Katanashi]

No, she was still thinking about her problems that were caliber in attacking and battering against her. She could hear nothing; and her temporary deafness began to expand and drift. She felt a wave of relief when she snapped out of it. What an abject and deplorable life she currently has. Even Haruhi. She was doing an endurable job just to help Luna -- or maybe she was just curious.

'If you strive to be better, then who knows? Maybe that guy will eventually notice you. Better yet, someone better than him will notice you.'

"Thank you, Haruhi."

Luna said sincerely, but she had a feeling that her friend was only relying on the book, but it doesn't matter anyway. Luna's smile hasn't evacuated yet, she felt comfortable in having been given an advice -- just like her former friend from before. Not even an abhorrent feeling was with her. No, there was just comfort coupled with satisfaction. She only smiled at Haruhi, who was having subtle nuances for a girl.

OOC: Brain dead again.