A Night Talk [Haleigh, Open]

[`Shaira`]

Anyone can post but let Haleigh posts first.

It's 10:00 pm now but still Shaira's awake. With her pajamas and loose T-shirt, she yawns while sitting behind a tree. She's not wasting her time because she's reflecting on what had happened on her life. First, her mother died when she was still a child. Then, her father was murdered and her brothers were lost. And now, she's here in the Academy. She had done many things and even try to kill herself. She sighs then yawns again.

Her memories are not good especially on directions so she can't go to the dorm in this night. In short, sheis lost. It's a good thing she had a small flashlight in her pocket and lit it. She doesn't want to sleep because someone or something can attack her. She needs to be alert in times like this.

What happened? Why is she lost? It's her stupidity that makes her lost. Is there someone living that would stay at night in place like this? Speaking of living things... she can hear the sounds of owl and many insects. She starts to shake like crazy. It's not that she fears the animals but she is afraid of ghosts. A song would be nice. "Happy birth--day to--to..." She closes her eyes and continue to sing.

[Haleigh Fox]

Lost in the woods.
Lost in her thoughts.
Lost in herself.

Every thing's lost for this dimwitted Haleigh. She had nothing but trouble in her head. She never fails to get herself into a bothersome predicament, not only to herself but also to others. Such a lowly state, yet undeserving of pity--not even self-pity.

Committing suicide.
Killing herself.
Cutting her breath.
Biting the dust.
Overrated. So overrated.

Who is this girl anyway? What worth does she have to obsess herself into these deathly exploits? Is she doing it to merely attract attention? Is she doing it just for fun? Is she doing it because she really hates herself? Is she doing because she couldn't find herself?

My answer could probably be yes to all of them. Twisted and pathetic, indeed, I am. Twisted and pathetic that I'm left hanging on this moment, confused and dazed on this shit. This shit wrapped around my wrist. This black shit which is said to keep my alice from working. This black shit that ruined everything.

"Oh God. What do I do next?!"

I sobbed in swirled thoughts under the blanket of soft white laid by the moon.

[`Shaira`]

"Oh God. What do I do next?!"

"Oh!" She was really surprised to hear someone's voice. That stopped her from singing. It's odd to hear someone's voice in the north woods in this time.

What if that voice come from a scary ghost? It's really scary for her.

"Try to be calm, Shaira... just calm..." She was panicking now then remembered a story about north woods. The story about someone who committed suicide using a rope and a tree.

What if that tree is the one that she sits behind? It's really scary for her.

"Hoe!" She was surprised again. She covered her ears and starts to sing again. This is louder than before... enough to hear on the whole north woods because of the silence.

"If I just knew that this would happen... I have just stayed at my room! Stupid me!"

[Haleigh Fox]

The moment I entered these woods, I tuned out every thing but the voices of my head. I ignored the inviting music of the deep night forest. I ignored the rustling of leaves that brought such serenity to this place. I ignored the noise of the silence that creeps about in the cold evening.

I was so inattentive of my surroundings that I failed to notice I wasn't alone beneath the shade from the lunar rays. I knew I wasn't all by myself. I heard her singing as I glanced around to make her figure out of the almost pitch black moment, if it wasn't because of the moon.

I guess I was too tired to have a talk or at least, face a new acquaintance. I leaned on the rugged bark of the cherry tree between the two of us. I sighed in restlessness.

"Do you love being alone in the night too?"

[`Shaira`]

"Do you love being alone in the night too?"

After all, it was girl, not a ghost.

"It's good to be alone at night. It's the time to reminisce the past and to reflect on what had just happened in your life. But, I don't want to be alone when the sun is rising. And when its rays touches my skin, I want to be with a friend. A true friend that would be my purpose of living." Those words are true. Her main purpose of living is because of her friends. Hwer true purpose of living is because she wants to love and to be loved.

"Very soon now, I will be lured into darkness. I don't know if I am fated to walk out again. Don't leave me please." Even though her smiled wouldn't be noticed in this darkness, she smiled to the unfamiliar girl.

"If it is your choice to come with me, then I could not wish for a better, or braver, companion. It's because if you'll leave, danger would embrace me."

[Haleigh Fox]

The tone of her voice.
The choice of words.
The impression she gave.
I supposed she, too, feels lonely.

It seemed like she wanted to open up and talk about herself, which I'm not against at and as long as she wouldn't ask anything about me. In the first place, I hate talking about myself in front of people. How much I love being pitied by my very own self was how much I hated being pitied by others. I hate being cared for. I hate being the center of attention, which I don't deserve. ...so much for that. Perhaps, I'd tag along.

"I'll... stay."

I chose not to show up though. I chose to dwell within the shadows because I wanted to be alone too, at least in what I could see.

[`Shaira`]

"I'll... stay."

"Good." She looks at the unfamiliar girl and give it a big grin. It's been a long time since she came to the North wood WITH a companion. She wants to express her feeling to someone who doesn't know her. In that way, there is no reason for that 'someone' to say her secrets.

"I just want to ask your name and I need someone who could listen to me." Her voice is soft and nice. The old sweet, cheerful Shaira is now a sad, serious girl. What really happened?

"If you don't want to listen to me... it's alright, but please stay with me."

[Haleigh Fox]

Breaking the ice...
is not my thing.

But I am quite amazed with the likes of her who could be as open whenever they want to. I guess I could be this girl's wall to talk to for the time being. I'm the wall that's used to being punched at out of problems... or was it sort of self-directed? I could use the time, perhaps. The night is still young and I am not yet conditioned to feel my mourning bed whose foam had almost absorbed all the brine from me.

This girl started to ask my name. I refuse to give it for no reason at all. I just gave out a silence for a no.

"You can talk anytime."

[`Shaira`]

Silence covered the area. It seems that the unfamiliar girl doesn't want to say her name she's asking. Maybe the girl doesn't want to talk about herself.

"I understand. YOu don't want to say your name. I respect one's privacy."

"You can talk anytime."

Again, silence covered the area. She didn't say anything but just try to smile. That smile in her face fades as she remembers the past... the lonely past full of darkness.

Her smile didn't lasts and it ended up into sorrow and sadness. A tear fall down from her eyes. And then another... another tear... You can tell that she's crying.

"I just want to end all those problems..."

[Haleigh Fox]

End? All problems?

It reminded of the past days--when my heart dwelt at the similar insight. The darkest shared of my past, it was. Loving the pain and the idea of death, it came me how desperately forlorn I was, horrible and useless. The only difference with me among the others is that I was unlucky not able to end these 'problems'. Tears were my only refuge.

"Then cry as much."

It was my mere stupid suggestion.

[`Shaira`]

"Then cry as much."

Hearing this, she cried totally like crazy and like a child. She misses the days wherein her family or friends are there whenever she faces lots of problems. But, now that her friends and family are all gone, who's gonna help her?

"Thank-- Thank you..." She said clearly while wiping her tears. There are really such bad memories that you can never forget. And as time goes by, it really hurts.

"How can I forget the dark past?!" Those words were soft but full of mixed emotions.

"Some kind of organization kill my family." She started to sell the girl what's her dark past that she really can't forget.

[Haleigh Fox]

Family...
Killed...

My eyes grew deeper. My chest felt heavier. My arms felt weaker. Almost as if I could cry, I tried holding back my tears. My family... got killed too. Everything was an accident though and it pains me--the thought of being left behind. This girl's past is no different than mine. But I could tell, she is stronger than mine. Her heart is stronger. She was able to endure all the pain all these time, which gives me a reason to look up to her, at least for this very moment.

"I'm listening..."

[`Shaira`]

"I'm listening..."

At this rate, her heart feels cold but as she hears those words, it warms her heart in this cold, cold evening.

"I still remembered those days when we, our family, is enjoying ouselves even if we are only poor. The smiles... but now... I'm all along this evening. Good thing, I have oyu right now, listening to me." It was really hard for her even to smile. She hugs her knees and continue her story.

"When I saw my father killed by some kind of organization, I really cried hard. Now that I'm all alone, all I have now is these suffocating feelings."

Sadness covers her. The past still hurts.

"All I ask now is the ability to smile. All I ask now if for a little bit happiness... I just hope that I could have died too."