Hiei
Two Star
-[Humanity's Exile]-
It's time for you to meet my inner demons.
Posts: 603
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Post by Hiei on Oct 3, 2007 13:36:51 GMT 7
2 weeks after he returned and in those two weeks, he had managed to caught up with everything that he had left behind, except... He had been thinking hard about it, even to the extent that he found himself lacking sleep. And now, he had found the results of all those nights of thinking. It was all his fault and everything he did, even if it was for the good of everyone, was the bad for a special someone. True, this was not exactly a reasonable choice, but it was the best way to stop the pains and sufferings they were going through. It would hurt, yes, but it's something worth for to prevent a lifetime's worth of loss. It was the best choice, lthough it did not seem so good for Hiei, he knew he had to do it.
He was in the same spot he first met her. The roof of the Academy buildings, where her ribbon was carried by the wind and to him, sealing the two's fate. And now, it was the same place that seal would break. He looked at his bandanged right arm, clenching his right fist. With every bandage he wore, a knife would enter her heart. He had enough of hurting her. As much as he wanted to be with her, he just wanted her to be happy. Perhaps this was the only way to do that.
He sat on the ground, leaning against the fence, the same spot he had been before she came into his life. His legs were placed in front of him, straightened and pointing at different directions. His hands were by his sides, the palm facing upwards and the hands relaxed. He was wearing a black shirt with red sleeves, the white bandages on his forearms as usual. He was also wearing a pair of dark brown cargo pants, and lastly, his black sports shoes.
And then, he waited.
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Hime
Two Star
Water Princess
Maybe summer was already over...a long time ago.
Posts: 501
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Post by Hime on Oct 3, 2007 14:43:46 GMT 7
Knock. Knock.
Hime awoke from her slumber, hearing the sound at the door. She winced, seeing the light enter through the curtains, and since she doesn't have classes that morning, she didn't anymore panic like she would usually do for waking up late. Getting her right foot on the floor first from the bed, she stood up from sitting down, letting the silk cream night gown climb down her legs. It fell three inches above her knee as she finally stood up. Moving her hands to brush the tangled blonde hair off her face, she walked towards the door, and twisting the knob gently, she pulled it open. The dorm bot welcomed her with a piece of folded paper, handed it to her with its mechanical hand and then left a second after.
It was a note from Hiei, saying that he wants to meet with her in the Elementary School Building. Hime stared at the note for a while, blinking two times while reading it once more.
She can't deny the fact that it was weird. Why did he want to meet her at this time of the day? Breakfast together? No. He should've said the Canteen instead of rooftop. Maybe it was a surprise of some sort...or something else. But whatever it is, she doesn't want to assume. At the back of Hime's mind, a thought was forming, but she dismissed it quickly, thinking that it could never happen. But as his girlfriend, it's her responsibility to come for him whenever he needs her.
Picking up a towel, she rushed to the shower room to wash her face and freshen herself up a bit. After that, she slipped in to a light yellow empire-cut dress and a pair of sandals. She also brushed her hair, then braided it without tying a ribbon to lock it. She left her room quickly and rushed towards the Elementary School Building. She arrived at the staircase leading to the rooftop soon, and before even taking the first step up, she recognized the familiar scenery she was in.
Everything was like this on that day when they first met. The sun was high up, warm winds blowing, and the same fateful place. Only this time--it was for something else. Reaching the top, Hime pushed the door open, feeling the wind rush down the staircase through her, and there he was, sitting on the same spot where he had been when they first met. Peculiar, Hime thought, but a smile was formed on her lips. Everything may seem coincidental, but it's going to be different now. They aren't strangers anymore.
"Hiei?" She called his name softly while stepping out the door. "You wanted to see me?"
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Hiei
Two Star
-[Humanity's Exile]-
It's time for you to meet my inner demons.
Posts: 603
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Post by Hiei on Oct 3, 2007 15:01:54 GMT 7
Hiei closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get as much rest as he could after missing so much during the past few nights. He opened his mouth slightly, his breathing pace casual and calm. Then, a tear rolled down his cheek as he tried to imagine what would happen. At that, his eyes opened as he peered at the clouds in the sky. For a moment, he was jealous of them. They were free. They had no worries. All they had to do was let the wind blow them around just like that. No fighting, no conflict, nothing. Hiei chuckled, lifting up his right arm and wiping that tear off with the bandage, the white cloth absorbing the tear. No, he mustn't cry. He would only make it harder.
Then, the door opened, Hiei's eyes immediately glancing at the direction. There, on the doorway, he saw the same beauty that lit up his dark life. The same beauty that he felt guilty for hurting and damaging. The same beauty that he found was too much for him. He let his eyes close, keeping the tears inside as he placed his right hand on the ground, pulling his legs close to him, bending them at the knees and letting his feet touch the ground. Slowly and calmly, he got himself to stand up.
As soon as he got up, he sighed for a moment, before walking forward casually, looking aside, keeping his red eyes away from her. The wind blew at him, his crimson-tipped raven hair waving in the wind. Ripples marvelously formed on his loose black shirt, like waves of the sea as the wind blew at it. Then, as he reached Hime, he turned his head, looking deep into his eyes. He grabbed her right hand, squeezing her hand gently.
"Hime... We got to talk."
Whatever her reply was, Hiei was going to continue. He looked deep into her eyes, another tear rolling down his cheek. This was a smaller one, glistening under the sunlight.
"I got a lot to say, so I guess I'll start by saying that I love you. You know life hasn't been a walk in the park for us. I don't want to see you cry but I don't want to be the one to tell you a lie."
He stopped for a moment, suddenly feeling rather painful in his chest. No, this was not caused by Dark Dragon nor Chaos. This was his heart, breaking apart like it had a couple of years before. For the period he had been with Hime, it was slowly repairing, but he realised that he was hurting Hime's heart with it. It was time to stop that hurt. Better him than her, after all.
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Hime
Two Star
Water Princess
Maybe summer was already over...a long time ago.
Posts: 501
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Post by Hime on Oct 3, 2007 15:37:25 GMT 7
Hime kept her smile as he saw Hiei get up. She stood still, letting him come to her like she does to the waves whenever she is on the beach. In her mind, she unconsciously compared Hiei to the sea and the way it comes to her on the beach as the wind blew across them. She loves the sea because it had always been the place she wants to be at, and of course same goes with being besides Hiei.
She couldn't help but think of how lucky she was to be able to be a part of his life, and continue on being a part of it forever, but when she saw the cloudy expression on his face, the thought came back. Before she could even think further, Hiei had already reached her, squeezing her right hand gently as he did.
"Hime... We got to talk."
Hime blinked twice, trying to get his deep gaze away from hers. The way he looked into her eyes that time was different. Where there would be traces of happiness was in his gaze, she found none this time. Is he feeling lonely? If he was, she'd do anything he asks, just he name it, and it'll be done. "I'll cheer him up.", she thought.
"Okay." She nodded, trying to keep the fading smile on her lips as she noticed a small tear glitter on the sun. With her fingers on her left hand, she wiped it away gently, careful that she wouldn't scratch his face.
"I got a lot to say, so I guess I'll start by saying that I love you. You know life hasn't been a walk in the park for us. I don't want to see you cry but I don't want to be the one to tell you a lie."
He loves her? She loves him too. That's a fact, and everyone knows it. And what does "a lot to say" mean? Why did he need to mention the past they've been through, too? It's true that all of it can never be forgotten, not by the two of them, but why bring it up again at a time like she thought everything is already over? And...a lie about what?
"I don't...understand."
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Hiei
Two Star
-[Humanity's Exile]-
It's time for you to meet my inner demons.
Posts: 603
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Post by Hiei on Oct 3, 2007 15:53:48 GMT 7
Hiei closed his eyes. The pain was unbearable. The thought of breaking part of Hime's heart to prevent it from being complete destroyed was too much for him to bear, though it seemed to be the best thing to do. At that, there was a sudden flashback. A flashback of Rage's funeral. Hime had cried for three days straight, never leaving her room until Hiei came to bring her out. What if... What if the next funeral that Hime would atten was his? No, he was not going to let Hime go through that pain again. He had to end this before that happened. What excuse did he had? That he did not want to hurt her anymore? No, there was more to it than that. Hime deserved better than him. Hime deserved to be treated better than he does to her.
"Listen, ok. Look. We've been together for more than a year now, but all I've given you is pain and suffering. If it wasn't for me, you would not have had such a high profile right now. Rage wouldn't be dead and you did not have to go through so much pain. I'm not even sure if I've been treating you, loving you right."
Hiei opened his eyes, looking deep into hers as he leaned forward, resting his forehead on hers. He let out a sigh as he placed Hime's hand by her side, grabbing her other hand with his. As always, Hime would hipe away his tears, but Hiei had not always been there to wipe away hers. In fact, most of the time, he was the one who caused those tears. And then, he leaned forward, closing his eyes as he let his lips touch hers. This was going to be the last time he would experience this sensational pain. He kissed her and as the kiss lasted long enough, he pulled away, opening his eyes and once more looking into her azure blue eyes.
"Hime, there's never a right time to say goodbye, but we know, we gotta go our seperate ways. And I know it's hard but we gotta do it, it's killing us. It's killing you. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have."
He paused for a while, letting the words enter her ears and into her mind as his eyes squinted slightly. He never knew heart-break could really be this painful. He simply imagined it as being some kind of depressed feeling, but he knew that when your heart is broken, it literally feels like it's being torn apart and stabbed at the same time.
"You deserve better than me, Hime. I don't feel that I've been treating you good enough. I just don't deserve someone like you, Hime. All I ever did was make you worry. I don't deserve you and you deserve better..."
There, that was out. Another tear rolled down his cheek.
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Hime
Two Star
Water Princess
Maybe summer was already over...a long time ago.
Posts: 501
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Post by Hime on Oct 3, 2007 16:39:59 GMT 7
Hime's eyes were filled with confusion and worry as Hiei continued speaking. She listened to the words he said without trying react first, but she couldn't grasp any of them in her mind. Why was he saying things about her profile? She didn't care about it anyway, as long as she's with Hiei, Rage and Cloud, she's happy. And it's not true about him being the cause of her pain and suffering. They were simple and straightforward words, but she couldn't understand what he was trying to imply. And finally, he said the last statement.
"I'm not even sure if I've been treating you, loving you right."
Hime's eyes widened. She kept her mouth closed, and her gaze unmoving as Hiei leaned forward to kiss her. She kept standing still and her eyes open during the kiss, and it was long enough to drive her to tears. It hurts. A lot. By this time, someone with the right mind would have figured out that this "talk" was going to be for a break-up, but for Hime, it still wasn't. She knows that the words taht would end everything would follow soon, but she still kept her hopes up...like she always does.
As Hiei pulled away, Hime's eyes were already flooded with tears because she didn't close them a while ago. Hiei kept his gaze onto her eyes, but she couldn't. She looked down, letting the shadow of her blonde bangs cover them and her tears. She doesn't want to see the meaning of the words "Goodbye" in them and she couldn't bear it.
"Hime, there's never a right time to say goodbye, but we know, we gotta go our seperate ways. And I know it's hard but we gotta do it, it's killing us. It's killing you. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have."
Hearing that, she covered her mouth and looked back up at him. She could almost feel her heart skip a beat as a lump of pain went up to her throat.
"You deserve better than me, Hime. I don't feel that I've been treating you good enough. I just don't deserve someone like you, Hime. All I ever did was make you worry. I don't deserve you and you deserve better..."
"That's not true!" She spoke while removing her hand from her mouth, her voice louder and more stressed than usual. "You had always made me happy...and secured...and...there's no one else who could give me all that you gave me!" She continued. Then dashing forward towards him, she locked him in a tight embrace.
"I love you!"
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Hiei
Two Star
-[Humanity's Exile]-
It's time for you to meet my inner demons.
Posts: 603
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Post by Hiei on Oct 3, 2007 17:02:21 GMT 7
Hiei's eyes widened as Hime locked him in a tight embrace and he found himself staring at the wall of the staircase. This time, he was unable to control his tears as they proceeded to roll down his cheeks, merging at his chin before dripping onto her shoulder. She loved him. And yet, he hurt her. Hiei closed his eyes as he lowered his head, his black and crimson-tipped fringe covering his tearful closed eyes. He rested his face on Hime's shoulder as he let his tears fall off. Though, his arms did not move. They did not wrap around her. They did not stop her. Hiei did not want to make this harder than it already was.
And then, he lifted up his hands, grabbing Hime's shoulders and gently pushing her away from him. For the moment, he had to be his old, old self. The mean, cold and heartless one who cared for no one but himself so that no one would care for him too. That was his way of life and the only way to prevent himself from hurting those that did not deserve being hurt. He kept his head lowered and his eyes closed, as he sniffed in the air, trying to hold back the tears now.
"Hime... I'm not the only fish in the sea... I'm sure there's someone here who will be able to give you everything I have given you and more. Someone that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You're a nice girl, Hime. It had been fun and memorable, but the pain cannot also be forgotten. This is the only way to stop them from coming again."
Hiei then turned away as he removed his hands from her shoulders, letting them fall and stay by his side as he kept his eyes away from her. He did not need to see her tears. He was already guilty and hurt enough by his action. Then, he took a step forward, finding that it was rather hard to balance himself as he did, but managed to get the hang of it. He felt weak, but as always, he pushed himself forward. He took another step, now standing beside Hime.
"Thank you, Hime."
And then, he went inside the staircase, taking his first step down and felt a sharp pain in his chest, causing the Crimson Protector to raise his hand, grabbing the center of his torso. This was no mere muscle ache, that was for sure. He took another step, and another jolt of pain came, like an arrow embedding itself into his heart. Another step and another arrow. He gritted his teeth, grunting with every step he took as tears rolled down his cheek, no matter how hard he tried to hold it back.
At that, the supposedly most-reknowned and 'best' couple in the Academy was over.
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Hime
Two Star
Water Princess
Maybe summer was already over...a long time ago.
Posts: 501
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Post by Hime on Oct 3, 2007 17:44:29 GMT 7
Hime waited for him to hug her back, but he didn't. The warmth she had been expecting didn't return to her. That moment, she had never felt so much pain in her life. All the hardships she experienced from the time she can remember up to Rage's death and the discovery of her true identity, once summed up, couldn't even measure up to what she's experiencing now. Her world fell apart.
Her eyes opened when Hiei pushed her away gently from her shoulders...and let them go. She gazed at his face, letting out the message that she wants him to look at her back from her eyes, but he kept his sight away from her.
"Hime... I'm not the only fish in the sea... I'm sure there's someone here who will be able to give you everything I have given you and more. Someone that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You're a nice girl, Hime. It had been fun and memorable, but the pain cannot also be forgotten. This is the only way to stop them from coming again."
Hime didn't let his words enter her ears. All of them are senseless. She doesn't to hear him say it, ever...but it was the truth. There are lots of fish from the sea--still--not one of them are the same. She closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head to get her mind off the thoughts of it, until she felt his familiar warmth part away from her. She opened her eyes quickly, only to see him walking away.
"Thank you, Hime."
Those are the only words that entered her. And it left her breathless. She felt her lips part open as more tears flooded down from eyes. She covered her mouth once more while following him with her gaze, turning around to face the direction of the door as she did. Somehow, she didn't have the courage nor the strength to take another step forward and go after him. She just simply stood there, watching him until he was gone.
There was silence above her, below, and around, until the whisper of the wind broke the silence. Another chapter in her story was finally ended.
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